Not sure if your husband is cheating? What if there was a way to tell if your husband is likely to cheat based on his personality? There is. Below are 5 psychological traits that can determine how to spot a cheating husband.
1. He Has A Low Self-Esteem
If an individual has a low self-esteem, they do not believe they are worthy of happiness. They do not believe that they deserve a happy, committed relationship.
As a result it is likely they will sabotage themselves and destroy things in their life that have the potential to bring them fulfillment, including a problem-free relationship. Usually this happens subconsciously, and he or she does not realize why they make poor choices.
However, just because they are not aware of why they made a particular choice, does not mean their actions are any less right or wrong.
In addition, people with a low self-esteem are easily threatened by their partner. They tend to compare themselves to them and have a “me against you” mentality. This leads to a power struggle. He will often rebel by cheating in an attempt to shift the power over to his side by hurting his partner.
How can you tell if your husband has a low self-esteem?
There are some pretty obvious indications to tell if your husband has a low-self esteem.
If your husband cannot handle criticism in any form, even if you are trying to help him, that is a telltale sign.
If your husband is overly jealous, to the point of being unreasonable, it means he is insecure and thus has a low self-esteem.
If he is not capable of having a logical, reasonable argument with you without losing his temper that means he is emotionally immature and likely has low self-worth.
2. He Lacks Self-Discipline
Does he possess self-discipline? Often times, men cheat not because they don’t love their wives, but because there is a woman willing to go to bed with them.
They make a mistake and cheat because they lack self-control. Learning how to control yourself from all the temptations of the world is a skill, you have to teach yourself how to be a person of discipline.
If you feel your husband does not have a strong sense of self-control then it is very likely he will cheat given the circumstances. It’s just a matter of time.
Again, there are easy ways to tell if your husband does not possess self-discipline.
Does he exhibit self-control in other areas of his life? Does he have a workout routine? Does he make it a priority to eat healthy? Does he have any hobbies or projects that he commits himself to? When he starts something new, does he finish it? Does he keep his promises?
If you answered “no” to every question, he probably is not a disciplined man.
3. He Is An Addict
This one is pretty self-explanatory. If your husband is addicted to any kind of substance such as drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc. the last thing on his mind is being faithful to you. Your first priority should be getting him to seek professional help, and if he refuses, removing yourself from the situation.
I have been in a relationship with a drug addict in the past, and it caused nothing but destruction and misery. I was too afraid to leave him for some time. I know if I had left sooner out of respect both for myself and him, there would have been a lot less pain. Realize and accept that you cannot save him, his recovery is up to him and him alone.
4. He Does Not Have Core Values
One day, sit your husband down and ask him what his main values are in life. If he has to think a long time before giving you a response, or he can’t even give you a clear answer, that is a big RED FLAG.
If a person does not know his or her values, there is nothing guiding his choices. All of his decisions will be based on the whim of the moment. Part of the reason why people make bad choices is because of what they do or don’t value. If your man doesn’t have a clue what he values, chances are he is going to make a lot of wrong decisions.
Be very wary if your partner lacks definitive values, it is a sign that they are immature, and they are not ready for a serious relationship.
5. He Does Not Respect Women
Your husband could be in the green for all of the above traits that I covered but if he doesn’t respect women and see them as equals then you can forget the idea of a faithful relationship. If he does not respect women, and you are a woman, he will not respect you.
A man will not be true to a woman he doesn’t respect. Her needs will not be a priority to him and he will not make a conscious effort to avoid hurting her.
If your man makes sexist remarks, and you can tell that he genuinely means them, he most likely sees women as something beneath him (see note).
If he ever says something along the lines of women “having their place” or “belonging in the kitchen” chances are he is still holding onto an outdated, sexist viewpoint of women.
If he is hesitant to give you freedom, insists that you stay at home as a housewife and discourages you from going to school or seeking employment it could mean that he has a certain picture in his head of what his wife is allowed to do with her life and not only is he sexist but he is also a control-freak.
*Note: A lot of the time a man will make a sexist joke, or laugh at a joke that is sexist in nature, however that doesn’t necessarily mean that he is truly a sexist. It could just mean that he is a conformist and is laughing or making a joke at the expense of women to gain social satisfaction or acceptance.
I’m sure we all know that there is still a lot of accepted sexism even in modern societies, and it is really just thoughtlessness that is allowing it to go on. When a joke is cracked, nobody really contemplates the deeper meaning behind it, or how it is shaping the collective unconscious of society.
In addition, I would like to point out that women also make sexist remarks against men, it is a two-way street. So you will have to thoroughly assess whether or not your husband is actually sexist.
If your husband or boyfriend has any one of these characteristics, this is a very bad sign. Every individual is entitled to a healthy, balanced, and happy relationship with their loved one.
You deserve to be with someone who will respect and appreciate you, and there is no reason why you cannot find this in your life, even if it means finding it with someone else. Real men (and women) don’t cheat on their significant others. Real men don’t disrespect, abuse, or try to control their partners.
For additional information, check out this resource that explains what marks a real man from a boy.
You know what you deserve, and I believe deep down you know what you need to do to make yourself happy in whatever situation you may be in.
It might not be easy, but in the end it will bring you much more happiness than what you are experiencing now. Invest in your future and your fulfillment, and never give up on the idea of being able to have a loving, healthy relationship.
Have you ever been cheated on? If so, what were some of the telltale signs that you noticed? Share your story with us and leave your comment below.